♫ in and out the window

I struggled to find the best title. Maybe I should have gone with "The One Where We Spent an Hour Outside with Carl Locked Inside" or Houdini, HoudOUTi or 105* Heat Index Fun! or Carl is a Little Stinker!


Anyway. It's hot out. Really hot. Heat index of 105*, temps in the upper 90s on their own. I saw the biggest lizard I have ever seen outside on a tree in the backyard. He wasn't a green anole lizard like we usually see. This thing was dark colored and about 2" wide, probably 10" long. That's how hot out it is... big ol' lizards are hanging out!

So, we played outside from 11:30 to noon. I was filling the pool, so no swimming yet. We went in to change and make chicken nuggets. By 12:20, we were back outside with lunch and bathing suits/sunscreen on. The kids ate, swam, splashed and played until 1:50. That's when I said, "Let's go take a nap and then come back out after." The kids wiggled out of their wet bathing suits and all 3 of us were on the deck. All was going well. Gretchen still had a little sandbox sand on her foot, so I turned to help her. Yes...the classic I turned my back for 2 seconds routine. Carl was inside. Actually, right then and there, no big deal. He slips inside all the time. Some days, I have to lock us outside because he wants to go back in so badly. Today, I did not do that. I left the key inside. And, now you see where this is going!

Gretchen and I were not even 20 seconds behind him - but we found the door locked. And the deck boards hot! And then the fun began.

Carl! Carl!
Come back to the door!
Open the door, Dude!
Turn the key!
Not the handle, the key!
The key is on top!
Turn it towards the pool!
Turn it more!
No, not twist it back and forth.... turn it!
Push it in a circle!
Harder!
Come back here!

Trying to give directions to a special needs child is not easy through a locked door. I was trying to keep my phrases simple yet descriptive. After about 5 minutes, I tried to call Lew, but I knew that wasn't going to get me anywhere. He had a meeting from 1:30 to 5:00! And he turns his cell phone to 'manner mode' in meetings. Which, to normal folks is 'vibrate', but he's a geek and they talk funny. Well, when his phone is on vibrate, he might as well leave it in his desk. He cannot feel it in his pocket! Does he have nerve damage? I mean, when someones phone vibrates near me, I can hear it even. How can he not feel it? Or hear it?

After a few minutes and one left message (Carl has locked us out. Call me back!) I did the most logical thing - I called my mother. My mother who is 788 miles away. She laughed and said to call 911. I wasn't ready to do that yet. Although, it was pretty darn hot out and I had a naked 4 year old locked inside my house. And another one locked out of my house.

Back to yelling directions to Carl. This time, we headed out front. I checked my car because if it was open, I could have gotten into the garage and found the spare key. Locked... gee, I do that so people can't open my garage door with the opener and get in to find the spare key! I also do it in the extreme heat to ensure that no kids from anywhere open it and climb in. You must have irrational fears, too, right? It really isn't like kids are roaming our neighborhood seeking shelter in hot cars or anything.

So, since we were out front, I rang the doorbell. Now, we have a keyed deadbolt on that door because Carl was letting himself out. So, all the precautions in place to keep him inside are working well! The door he actually locked had the key in the deadbolt because we go in and out that door to get out back. And neither child had ever touched the key. Until 1:50 this afternoon in 105* heat index.

Now I am at the front door and Carl is standing there looking out at me smiling. More directions:

Go get Mommy's keys off the shelf.
Can you reach the top of the bookshelf?
Get the step stool.
Carl, come back here!
Carl.....

gone. So, Gretchen and I head back to the backyard.

By now, Mondo Lizard is no longer in sight. Great - I prefer knowing where they are. Hope he headed away from the house! No time to investigate.

I called the main number for Lew's work and got the security dept. I explained to them that Lew was in a meeting all afternoon and not answering his phone, but that my 4 yr old had locked me outside. Could they page him and ask him to call my cell? You know - it was a fluke I even brought that outside. I only did it for the clock feature. If you know me well, you know I hate that phone. I fought it for so long. I only got a cell phone so pre-school could reach me. No one even has the number for it! I have used it probably less than a dozen times in 2 years.

While we were waiting for Lew to call back, I decided to get Carl to unlock a window. 15 minutes later, Lew called back in the middle of me still trying to talk him through this. Turns out, Lew's conference room did not hear the page, so security sent someone door to door looking for him. Impressive! So, he called me as he was getting to his car. Well, another 5 minutes and I finally had Carl standing on a chair by a window and got the locks flipped! I slid it open! Yay!

Asking him to bring me my keys didn't work. Asking him to pull the key out of the back door deadbolt didn't work. No way was I going to fit through that window that needed me to climb up on a chair to reach. Lew was still on the line. Then I decided to pass Gretchen through the window and started giving her directions once she was in. By now, Lew was about halfway home. Oh - remember the 105* heat? Lew's car has no air conditioning!!!

Well, I managed to get Gretchen to go to the windows behind the piano and unlock on with a step stool from the bathroom. That window is deck floor level - so I could step in!! I was back inside!!! All 3 of us were back inside!!! Only about 70 minutes after being locked out! And no call to 911!!!! Even during it all, I was thinking, "This is pretty damn funny. Sweaty, but funny."

Lew turned around and headed back to the marathon meeting. I dressed the kids, gave Gretchen a snack since she was hungry from the excitement and we started nap at about 3:00!!

They slept until 5:00!!!

And Lew is bringing a pizza home as a reward for the fun time we had today playing our own version of "In and Out the Window" ♫